My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going
kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week"

My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 - "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and
eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you "look" at the dirt
on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all that
spinach is finished.

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept
through your room."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told
you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like
your father!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we
get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your
eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your spelling
test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS - "You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Do you think you were born in a

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my age,
you will understand."

And my all time favorite... JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids ...and
I hope they turn out just like you!"

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