HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT Women
and be POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
She is not a BABE or a CHICK
- She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
- She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY
- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT
- She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB
- She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND
- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED
-She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY
- She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY
- She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD
- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY
- She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
- She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU
- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT
- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE
- She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN and be POLITICALLY CORRECT:
He does not have a BEER GUT
- He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER
- He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
- He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING
- He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE
- He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
- He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
- He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES
- He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENTS