A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to
find the most embarrassing moments in listeners lives. The following are
the final four place getters:
4th place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right
now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!".
The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing
that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter."
3rd place
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss
the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the
bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people
yelled "surprise". My entire family, ... aunts, uncles, grandparents,
cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I
were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what
seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a
surprise party again."
2nd place
"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price
tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public
address system and boomed out for all the store to hear. "PRICE CHECK
ON LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the
rear of
the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks".
In
a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
system: DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND
YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?"
AND THE WINNER IS!
This one happened at a major Australian University in October last
year.
In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose
levels found in semen. A young female freshman, raised her hand and asked,
"If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male
semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor,
going
on to add some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole
class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked
up her books, and
without a word walked out of the class, and never returned. However,
as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste
sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not in the back of your throat!