************************* Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand . *************************** I am in shape. Round is a shape. *************************** Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. *************************** Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. *************************** Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. *************************** Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. *************************** Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. *************************** An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. ************************** There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year. *************************** In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. *************************** Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before. *************************** I am a nutritional overachiever. *************************** I am having an out of money experience. *************************** I plan on living forever. (So far, so good). *************************** Practice safe eating -- always use condiments. *************************** A day without sunshine is like night. *************************** If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. *************************** It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. *************************** The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. *************************** Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. *************************** Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. *************************** Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show. ************************** You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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