Hallmark cards you can send to your exs

FRONT: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me.

FRONT: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.

FRONT: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you.

FRONT: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:
INSIDE: What the hell was I thinking?

FRONT: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.

FRONT: When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

FRONT: I'm so miserable without you,
INSIDE: It's almost like you're here.

FRONT: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: Buy a dog.

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