THE 2002 DARWIN AWARDS.
The candidates have finally been released and provisional awards given! (Remember, candidates are always trying to get onto the listings!!) For those not familiar with the Darwin Awards, it is an annual honour given to the person(s) who provided the human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily way thereby ensuring the continuation of the species via process of elimination.
As always, the competition this year (to date) has been keen and hard fought. Some candidates (as shown) appear to have been in training for this event all their brief lives!!
1/. In Gutherie, Oklahoma, in October, Jason heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his .22 calibre rifle, but when he took the shot, the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole containing the millipede and hit his pal Antonio Martinez in the head, immediately fracturing his skull, resulting in his death.
2/. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Skins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement, declined the use of a broom finding it a slow process. Martyn favoured the use of a propane blowtorch instead, and when used, went on to cause a fire that burned down the first and second floors of his house, also severely damaging his neighbour’s houses as well.
3/. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalised in Andover Township, New Jersey, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter stick of Dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2.00am, the bored couple thought it would be fun to light up the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window of their car to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was in fact closed at the time.
4/. In Dublin, Ireland, Patrick Barnes, 23, was fed up with always having to have cold showers, as he had not paid the Gas bill for some time. His novel solution whilst under the effect of several drinks was to pull apart his electric kettle and place the element from inside it into his bath water to heat it up, giving him his final bath, albeit hot.
5/. In Green Banks, Alabama, Alison Stewart whilst driving along a levee bank (dam wall) lost control of her car while trying to answer a mobile phone call and plunged down the slope into the water below. In panic, Alison rang 911 for assistance to which the operator then asked her if she could in fact open the door to the car and escape, to which Alison replied she could not and that the water had reached the windows now. The operator then asked her roll the window down (the windows were not electric) and escape through the window. Alison replied that she could do this as all the water would then come in through the window and she would drown. After repeated calls from the operator to exit the vehicle via the window, Alison’s mobile went off line. Investigators subsequently found Alison drowned in the car in a water depth of only 1.75m. Alison was 1.83 metres tall.
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