Blonde Jokes
1st
Degree
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone,
listened a moment, and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from
here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said,
"I
don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
2nd
Degree
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the
second blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You
dummy, it's me!"
3rd
Degree
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, "No honey, don't do it." The blonde replies,
"Shut up, you're next!"
4th
Degree
A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says,
"Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the
capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."
5th
Degree
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th
Degree
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
scratch. "Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes,
officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did
this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of
me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there
was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...." "Uh, ma'am,"
the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There
isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging backand forth."
7th
Degree
Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had
been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home
to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what
do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"